Between Homelessness and Autonomy

I often find myself thinking of the seemingly unlimited possibilities life holds. What is the best possible alternative to the many inevitable obligations that come with adulthood? Becoming part of this grand machine that is our society and our economy should not mean spending the majority of your productive life doing one given thing, not because you enjoy that thing, but in order to keep food in the cupboard and four protective walls around you. It should not mean tossing ambition aside for security. I dread the thought of working long hours at a mindless and unnecessary job just to keep alive. Such a world appears cold and unforgiving. Instead, I see my future place in this world as a collection of possibilities, beyond a life that is not really living, but surviving. I’m not sure if it is that many people are content in their cubicles, or they simply do not realize there are alternatives. In no way do I see myself as above the masses, but I often feel that I see things a bit differently.


My line of thinking is on par with such cheesy inspirational phrases repeated by professors and advertisements for non-traditional colleges. “Follow your passion!”, they say. “Live your dream” and my personal favorite of “Live to work, don’t work to live”. The message in the mantra being, that if you can find a way to get paid for what you love, it no longer feels like work. But, the barrier that immediately arises, is money. How does one sustain a living from making art, playing music, playing sports or acting. We've all heard of the starving artist, whom, at any given time, may or may not make enough money from their passion to feed themselves. These professions are highly competitive; success stories will leave you feeling inspired, but with the advice that you must work hard, and you must not give up.


But for the rest of us, who have hobbies, but may not be particularly talented, patient or determined enough to turn passion into profit, we give in. We compromise for jobs with little purpose, leaving us too exhausted to do much more than sleep in the bed in the house that we’re working so hard to live in. So many work long hours, selling a product that leaves even the customer with (in many cases) only superficial, material happiness. Whenever we do get a moment to ourselves, it becomes easier to fill it with short lived happiness that comes from buying new clothes, going out drinking, or watching people whose lives are much more fulfilled than our own on television. This grim and desolate description I've painted in my mind doesn't include the happiness that comes from relationships, having families, spiritual fulfillment, or the possibility that many people happen to love the things they work long hours selling, convincing others that for a fee, they will love the things too. But it does, in many ways, present the catch-22 of our modern world. The very situation I’m always looking for a way out of, in between the many mindless tasks that come with a minimum wage job in food service. 

Is Interest of the Ego?

There are some things that we like to such an extent that it defines us.
...Cannot understand how it happens to not be a thing loved by all.
Like sentence fragments without a subject, not sure who to include.
I wouldn't know how anyone personally expressed their identity within their own mind.
 Not without starting a conversation.
Momentary social interactions that feel slightly closer than casual always take me by surprise. It is within you to be social to some extent.
When we think about how we can know our own minds exist on an endless plane, but cannot escape the thoughts that echo through the stadium inside out head.
I feel like a soul.
 do not fall to pieces post-realization that ourselves are not the center of the universe

Why I Support GMOs

Genetically Modified Organisms (or GMOs) have been met with a large amount of controversy and resistance in recent years. The term itself has caused an image of evil frankenfoods in a battle with delicate mother nature. This black and white model of biotechnology is a direct result of inadequate scientific research, as well as a lack of scientific literacy of the general public. While there is little conclusive research on the ecological and health effects of GMOs, much of these negative opinions can be traced to the company Monsanto, whose business practices have resulted in numerous protests around the country. Presently, our global agricultural systems prove to in inefficient in their use of resources, causing harm to ourselves and global ecosystems. With a growing uncertainty of weather patterns caused by global climate change, many scientists are looking towards GMOs as a means of future food security. Given the much needed shift towards sustainable agricultural practices, genetic modification offers one solution in decreasing the amount of agricultural inputs currently in use, and even in increasing yields and nutritional quality of some crops. Furthermore, genetic engineering should not be seen as the only road towards sustainability. Efficient design techniques combined with technological innovation together can propel us towards sustainable agriculture.

A glimpse of my rebellious soul

There must be a certain degree of acceptance of society to be able to live happily in it. But what happens when you take the red pill and you find that the rabbit hole only gets deeper? It brings on a feeling of disconnect with the many who don't think to question everything they've ever known. And why should they? By some experience, it appears few of us have looked at our lives from an outside perspective. And while this brings about a certain level of enlightenment, you can never see your life or the workings of society in the same way.

But still, you carry on each day, thinking your life to be filled with what is necessary to get by, ups and downs, social interactions, only longing for some sort of escape from it all, as if there could be an alternative to this society. Small groups that think similarly must exist, but finding and connecting with them to a point where they accept you into their community is too impossible a task to feel realistic.

Theories of utopias conceptualized first in your mind, and second in the words of philosophers, economists, environmentalists, and celebrities which you never knew shared your point of view. Leadership without corruption, anarchism without violence, honest media, and trading acts of kindness. All elements of what I see as a better and entirely possible world.

I cannot stand the thought of working full time at something that gives me nothing but money in return. Being too exhausted to be autonomous, have my own thoughts, relax. Give into materialistic convenience and mindless entertainment. Become the perfect robotic consumer droning on as weeks run together and dreams drift out of reach.

I may have what appears to be a naive and unrealistic perspective of this better world. Though something tells me I'm not alone in this. This little corner of the world is all I've ever known. My home has become like a cage that occasionally is unlocked, only to remind me that I've outgrown this city that no longer brings me the comfort of familiarity. I have yet to earn my freedom. College is like a test I must pass to get out.

Then I must ask myself if this cage exists around me, or within me.
Getting out is not being uncomfortable looking strangers in the eye.
Getting out is not feeling like I'm watching my life instead of living it.
Getting out is feeling like I belong somewhere.
Getting out is adventure, natural beauty and falling in love.
Getting out is learning to support myself.
Getting out is feeling inspired by new experiences.
Getting out is finding people who also have a vision of a better world.