I'm beginning to realize there's more opportunities surrounding me than I ever would have thought. The only thing I feel is holding me back is that I lack the confidence and sociability to attend these events I'm strongly in support of, if I cannot find a friend willing to attend with me. It's stupid, because I know that within these occasions lies opportunity to connect with like-minded people, while supporting a cause I believe in. I have this constant worry consisting of an image of myself, alone in a crowd of people, alienated and unable to make social connections.
This is somewhat reflective of my detached Aquarius-like relationship with society, to which I feel I do not belong. Popular ideas often to not set well with me, such as in preference of music and entertainment, my outlook on the traditional American diet and my political opinions. While I know I am not alone in feeling this way, I'm also unskilled in small-talk. It doesn't seem quite socially acceptable to go up to strangers who appear to be like-minded, and ask them their favorite band or their opinion on modern agriculture.
However, I know there are things in life I'm going to have to do alone, and as much as that scares me, I also recognize that its necessary to achieve my goals and for my soul to grow. There is joy in much more than human interaction, but the desire to belong is evolutionarily engrained into us. I just hope I can figure out how to satisfy both sides of my constantly conflicting mind.
